I haven't cried in so long Dx

So I'm watching the drama "Smile" from last year right now...
And it's SO SAD!!!!

It tells "the story of the love and justice of a man who lived his life heroically",
or that's how translators said it.

So anyway...
it's a drama about a guy who's half Japanese half Filipino who's treated badly because people think he's 'dirty' since he's foreign...
But in fact he was born and raised only in Japan,
so he doesn't even know the Philippines.
He has a sad and traumatic past and he gets involved in horrible things one after another,
like being framed for possession of drugs and getting arrested.
But he's always smiling and optimistic!!

I know it's just a drama but it's... too sad!!!
And to make things worse,
the main character Hayakawa Vito is played by Matsumoto Jun!!
Which makes me feel even more bad
I love him too much

And so here I am,
sniffling and wailing to myself and being all depressed because of a TV show.
I would totally cry out loud,
but then my parents would be like "You get influenced too much" and stuff,
and that's not very cool. >_<
So...
I'm just writing about my feelings here while having tears in my eyes.
It's been such a long while since I've cried...
So it feels awkward.

I'm about to explode into real tears,
so I decided to watch the normal happy MatsuJun in real life.
And so I watched his commercial for Mario Kart Wii.
How cute.
That's the MatsuJun I like.

Anyway, my feelings are back up and I'm excited for tomorrow,
because I'll be getting new magazines and I'm going to play tennis against my dad!!
Wish me luck.